QUICKBASIC ACCELERATOR'S REVIEW OF PONG WORZ
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Sometimes a game wants to succeed so badly, it shuts everything else 
out and tries to be the next big thing on pure raw charisma. Those 
games usually fail. Like a vacuum cleaner under a chair, these games 
are destined to suck ass. Usually, these games, taken at face value, 
are just fine, with no visible problems from the getgo -- Their graphics 
range from decent to great, their concepts seem  a little "borrowed", 
but are solid, and sometimes they even have great sound. The problem 
doesn't lie there. It lies in the gameplay itself. Pong Worz suffers 
from this very problem. Lots of charisma. Lots of heart. Great 
graphics...but problems with the gameplay that are obvious from the start.

When you first play Pong Worz, you'll find it harder than fighting a 
cyberdemon with a plastic spork for the first hour. Why? Because you're 
playing by their rules. After the first hour, you'll suddenly start 
winning every match. Why? Did you master the clunky, slow to respond 
controls? Did you find the perfect strategy for using the tacked on 
weapons? No. In fact, you'll stop using the weapons altogether. The 
biggest problem with Pong Worz, even worse than the controls, is that 
it's gimmick is poorly designed. To begin with, you'll require master 
strategy just to keep the thing loaded. The ammo crates the game 
eventually supplies you with can only be picked up by shooting them. 
This means that if you use up your ammo, you're out of luck for the 
rest of the round. To make matters worse, the slow controls mean that 
it's not possible to nimbly evade enemy bullets and respond with a 
barrage of your own. In fact, it's best to avoid the enemy altogether 
until he runs our of ammo, and just play regular pong. In a game 
whose claim to fame is paddle-to-paddle combat, it is the deadliest 
sin of all to have a gimmick that doesn't make the game easier. 

The game was completely silent through the couple hours I spent 
playing it, which was dissapointing, but the graphics were very 
professional with good shading and enough variance to keep my eyes 
interested. Both paddles you can control are interesting to look 
at, as do the various playing fields you play on.

The graphics are fantastic, even if the gameplay IS lacking somewhat.
 
Ultimately however, nothing can save this game from it's own gameplay. 
While some of the problems with the gameplay are in fact a result of 
some interesting coding, it doesn't save it from the damning effect 
it has on the gameplay. The worst part is that with a little bit of 
playtesting and a few minute alterations, this game could be a lot 
of fun to play. As it sits, however,  it's unfortunately just a stale 
tech demo whose concepts don't lend itself to the game which was being 
made.

--SJ Zero needs to make a DOOM mod that changes the fist into a spork!